The first time I was told I had cancer, it did what it usually does for anyone - stopped me dead in my tracks, I panicked, I got depressed and then we beat it.
The second time I heard I had cancer, I was battle tested and handled the news a bit more disciplined and knew anything could happen so I didn't panic or get depressed.
THE THIRD time I heard I had cancer, I was angry but determined. I was determined to use that anger and turn the world on its head to figure out why...
I never turned the world on its head and I never really found out why. What happened instead? The roles were reversed and I had the world turned upside down on me. Not in the bad way that you would think, but in a good way that ultimately led me to finding the person inside of me that I had been trying to find for 52 years.
You see, if you beat cancer once your right up there with the almost 70% of the general population. If you beat it twice, that number drops to 19% and if you beat it 3 times, it's less than 1%. I used to joke that I can beat cancer twice - one of the cancers being so rare only 2 people out of a million would get it, but I can't win the Powerball. But when you hear for the 3rd time you are clean, your mind begins to travel down a path that becomes the most enlightened journey you can take if you let it. I tell everyone that cancer was the best thing that ever happened to me and here's why.
For 48 years, I wandered. When I was younger it was fun to live the "fly by the seat of your pants" lifestyle. In my 30's, I knew who I wanted to be, but I didn't know how to get there. Then in my forties as friends and family my age were achieving life milestones that I could only dream about, I began to doubt myself. I was about to turn 50 and I had no idea who I was. Then the cancer journey began. Dealing with this sickness made me look inside me to find out what I was made of. Where were my limits were and how do I become a winner at life like everyone else around me enjoying success of careers, family, and finances.
If it were only that easy. I was even more lost and wandering even harder when I found out I beat it for the third time because now my questions became "why am I still here" . What does God need me to do so bad, I survived cancer 3 times. I searched and searched. I was exhausted and tired and now I was starting to feel depressed.
I joined a an online support group that was for people with similar cancers. I began to get pretty involved with the group. After a month or so I felt like a new person because I realized I wasn't alone and there were others out there who were going through exactly what I was. Eventually, I began to come out of my shell and offer encouragement. Then, I began to tell people exactly what they were dealing with and eventually I had people reaching out to me just to talk. At that moment I realized something. My calling wasn't to be a titan of Wall St or a famous explorer, musician, or actor. My calling was to coach, mentor, teach and prove to others how strong the power of yourself and what putting your biggest challenges in front of you could make you discover rather than covering them up and hoping they went away.
It was the brightest light that had ever shown in my life and I knew I had a hell of a story that people needed to hear for their own piece of mind while struggling through the darkest of days.
I have never been quiet about my cancer. For those of you who I call friends and family, I used social media to tell you everything. My diagnosis, my treatments, and success and my failures. Through that, you picked me up when I needed to be carried. You kept me humble when things looked good. You supported me the whole way and without that I don't know where I would have ended up. For that I am eaternally grateful to every single one of you! Cancer has always been a team sport and a battle that requires the greatest army. You are mine and I want to ask you one more favor because now it's time to pay it back.
3 weeks ago I sent my story to a few of the charities who have teams that run in the NYC Marathon. I am greatly humbled and honored to tell you that Livestrong has invited me to be a part of their team and run the monster 26.2 miles on our home streets of NYC in front of the greatest crowds and on the biggest stage!!
I remember what it was like laying in those hospital beds alone thinking the end was near.
Making peace with the fact that I may never see my wife and daughter again. Never getting to dance at Lily's wedding or grow old with Becky.
That feeling is helpless, lonely and down right frightful. With your help, we can raise the money to put a dent in cancer nightmares and get the funding for cancer research.
I am not doing this to set a record or win a heat. I am simply doing this because the message that I am here to tell anyone who will listen is that you are not alone. If I could beat cancer 3 times, then take an otherwise unathletic body who craves pizza and tacos over exercise and diet and run 26.2 miles after 8 months of training. Then surely, ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN!!!
I hope none of you fell over after hearing my announcement, but together we're going to finish this race if I have to crawl over that line 18 hours after the start, but it WILL happen for the sake of those who are no light at the end of the tunnel right now and believe there is no hope. There is hope and my overweight out of shape butt is going to be the guy to prove it to you!!!
